my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
