That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
