All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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