Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
