I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
