do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to have your abortion
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
