Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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