I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
