Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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