Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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