she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
