For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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