I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
nutella sex= disaster
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have tasted many bathrooms
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
