duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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