i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
