you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
