Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
