I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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