Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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