is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
