Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
