Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
