He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
