R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
