Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
