He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
