ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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