Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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