Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
