Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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