the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
