Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
