we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
