I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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