Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
