Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
