hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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