oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
