Im at strip club and am horny
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
we should paint friendship bongs
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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