Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
