you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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