We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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