I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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