you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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