i permit you to call me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
