Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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