Don't you send me to vm
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
