I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize