Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
