I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
