Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
