i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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