You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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