Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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