she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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