God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
