can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
there is glitter all over my balls
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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