As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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