Sry I called you an 8
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
